Weeks like this one really kick me in the rear. This has been a week long battle between me and my arthritis and unfortunately, arthritis is winning. I have been nearly bed ridden since Tuesday morning. I move from the bed to the recliner and that is about the extent of movement I can tolerate because the pain is so severe. I went to the doctor but only got to see the PA who thought it was probably muscular and suggested I use heat. After dealing with this for 30 years I don't think this is muscular. I'm worried about what it might be.
This morning, I really thought I was better. For the first time since Monday I got up and cooked a decent meal for my husband. Big mistake. This afternoon I am suffering horribly with excruciating pain. Looks like I am back to square one.
I've always been a big advocate for a positive attitude getting you through anything. I've managed to control my depression through pain, surgeries and life changing limitations, accepting that this is my cross to bear in life and trying to find the bright side. Weeks like this really challenge my strength.
If the disc in my spine keep deteriorating and I end up facing more back surgery, my strength will really be tested. I'm not sure I can handle any more. I've already had 5 and with each one comes more nerve damage and more arthritis pain. Enough is enough.
But I will get through it. Like I always do. I guess I'm just a little scared. I'm not writing this to make anyone feel sorry for me. I don't need or want sympathy. Everyone has their own cross to bear. I think I just needed to write this for my own therapy. To let it all out. To vent. As the saying goes, "This too shall pass".
Music always helps so please enjoy one of my favorites.
Until next time...that's my view.