Truth or Dare; To Tell the Truth; I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth; Truth or Consequences...and on and on. As Americans we seem to spend a lot of time searching for the truth. There have been numerous TV shows and board games based on this premise. But just how far are we willing to go to be the truthful people we confess to be.
I've always tried to be a truthful and honest person, but, if I'm totally honest here, I haven't always succeeded. You see, I have a real problem intentionally hurting someone's feelings. I guess I bought into the whole "little white lie" for the sake of keeping the peace or not hurting someone's feelings propaganda. You know what "they" always say, "What's the harm if no one gets hurt?". (By the way, wouldn't you love to know who "they" are...these unnamed people who we are always quoting?)
One of my favorite bloggers, Jo, http://jo-mywanderingmind.blogspot.com made a strong case for always telling the truth in all circumstances. In theory I agree with her, but again, being totally honest, I'm not sure I will always be able to follow through with it. If faced with a situation where I would have to hurt someone's feelings by telling the whole truth and nothing but, I can't promise I won't revert back to my old ways of telling the "little white lie".
Of course I would never hide the truth in really important situations where lives could be changed or someone could be injured or harmed. I'm talking those instances where your girlfriend says doesn't my hair look awful today and you know it does but you also know she doesn't have the time to do anything about it, so why make her miserable worrying about it. Or you know the big one..."Does my butt look fat in these pants?" Can you tell me you really want to be brutally honest in these situations? If it is something they can do something about yes, but if not, why make them more miserable. Am I really a horrible person for feeling this way. I don't know, I'll let you decide.
Until next time...that's my view. (And that's the honest truth!)
Kat
I gotta fess up here, I also don't exactly tell the truth in those, nothing to be gained by spilling my guts moments, BUT I am a pretty good evader! Example: The does my butt look big in these pants question can always be answered by saying something like, "I'm not sure those are the most flattering ones for you. But I'm no (insert your favorite fashion expert here)."
ReplyDeleteoh, and thank you for the 'favorite' comment! Love that! :)
I like your analysis of the fine line between truth and a lie. I think those gray areas are what keep us human and not simply a mechanical responder, like a computer would be.
ReplyDeleteGood question, Karen. I think there is a difference between "truth" and social chit chat. When someone asks "does this make my butt look big" they aren't really asking you to make a true or false statement -- they just want to feel a little bit better about themselves. It's a chance to say something helpful.
ReplyDeletenothing wrong with not talking too! truth always finds us..if we listen! :0) love this
ReplyDeleteJo - So...you had to fess up, huh. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. I think we are all human!
ReplyDeletesdwebgal - Thanks for stopping by and for your comments. I agree that none of us are computers or robots with all the answers.
Connie - That is a very good point. Thanks.
Brenda - Thank you, you are so right. It always catches up with us sooner or later.
I'm scared to answer this one, but lies can be as useful as the truth. I will tell the truth and confess that I do lie - in my job I sometimes need to to keep my staff from falling in a heap with the stress of the job with some strategic little lies that give them hope. But in my personal life I find that the truth is best. I absolutely WILL tell you if your hair looks crap or if your butt looks big, because if I don't someone else will. I just wish people would tell ME the truth so I don't see it in the photo when it is too late!!
ReplyDeleteM
White lies are good. It's about courtesy and not wanting to hurt people. :)
ReplyDeleteMarlia, you make a good point.
ReplyDeleteThanks Maren, maybe I'm not such a bad person then! :D
Decades ago, I made a vow to myself to be honest at all times and I've kept it. If asked, I will tell the truth (of course, truth is often a matter of perspective, so my truth and yours may not always agree).
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I try to be gentle. Being truthful doesn't give me license to me mean or hurtful. It also doesn't mean that I spill everything I think or know. For me, it simply means that if I'm asked something, I will offer one of two responses: I'll tell you the truth or I'll tell you that it's none of your business (but only if that's he truth).
Your honesty is appreciated!
ReplyDeleteNO! Absolutely NOT! Gals, you have a duty to tell me my bum looks fat. It's an ugly mirror, but someone's gotta hold it. Put on your big girl shoes and help me out! LOL!
ReplyDeleteBut, see, I already know that if I have to ask you if I look fat, then, yes, I am and I need to cut back on the vino.
I agree with you. There is a time to not tell the truth. As for your TV show opening, I hate the modern truth-be-told shows. Reality TV, kicking folks off the island, or I don't want to date you type shows, only teach people to be hurtfully honest when they shouldn't be.
ReplyDeleteJoyce
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2011/12/writers-post-celebrate-seeson.html
Oops. Wrong post. This is the truth hop.
ReplyDeletehttp://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2011/12/gbe2-truth.html